Try This Formula to Boost Your Well-being and Revitalize Your Relationships
Preparing for medical boards is a marathon, not a sprint. It requires time alone away from family, which can negatively impact relationships over time.
This simple formula (1N=5P) describes an important principle that can be applied to revitalize all areas of our lives. It’s straightforward. It means filling your mind and life with five positive ideas for every negative.
This principle was discovered by John Gottman, Ph.D., a professor at the University of Washington, who studied marriage. His research laboratory was called the Love Lab. After couples filled out questionnaires, they would stay overnight in a small apartment with cameras that collected all kinds of data.
Gottman and his team of observers followed the couples for several years to see which ones (a) stayed together and were happy, (b) stayed together and were unhappy, or (c) divorced. They could predict with over 90% accuracy which marriages would survive and thrive simply by counting the ratio of positive-to-negative comments.
We can also apply this formula when bad stuff happens–like losing your luggage on a flight, not getting a job promotion that you felt prepared for, feeling like your partner only criticizes you, or when you receive bad news–like a failed attempt at passing medical specialty boards. However, this kind of BAD NEWS requires more than five positives to diminish this personal and professional assault. It requires more time to restore confidence and well-being.
One of my physician-clients, at the suggestion of her therapist, posted several areas of her home with signs saying “I PASSED” to recalibrate her mind after a failed board attempt. The result? She was astonished—she passed all content areas and was amazed at her remarkable achievement!
What have you done to recalibrate your personal and professional identity?
It can be challenging to find five positive ideas for every negative one! However, it’s worth the effort. For the rest of this year, I am committing myself to the 5-to-1 principle. What about you?
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Linda L. Carr, Ph.D., Founder/Principal at Coaching for Medical Specialty Boards, is a medical educator and learning specialist who coaches physicians preparing for specialty boards through virtual, one-on-one coaching. Visit www.DrLindaCarr.org to learn more about her program and download her FREE Study Guide.